To Anyone Who Cares

Lookie here, Maple is back to blogging.  How long will this last?  She guesses about five seconds. 

Okay, enough of the third person.  So, uh… here’s a list.  Or two.  Or three.  Everyone loves lists, right?

Things I Did Today:

1. Infected my brother with “Mario Bros. Classic Fever”
2. Became emo for a cause (looked at my blood under a microscope)
3. Ate a sandwich
4. Vowed to update my pathetic playlist
5. Smelled cookies
6. Screamed at my brother when he beat my Mario Bros. high score
7. Got excited over dreamwriters.org being listed on Piers Anthony’s site
8. Wished for snow
9. Thought about funny commercials on TV

Okay, my brother is being a total jerk.  “I got the new high score!  In your FACE!”   Ahhh shut up Mike!

…Too lazy to make another list.  Off to go download some music.

Depressingly Motivational

Ever seen one of those motivational speakers who come and give their little lecture and then end up depressing the h-e-double toothpicks out of you? …This is sort of like that. Today at school they showed us this movie on “choosing the right friends”. Well, okay. So they dimmed the lights and turned on their triple screen things, and let me tell you: it was not pleasant. They started going on and on about how decisions can launch your life into despair and doom and all those other d words. They played 911 calls of hysterical people screaming “It’s… it looks like a self-inflicted gunshot wound. Please help!” and you hear sobbing in the background. Then they talked about this girl who comitted suicide. Her mother is on the verge of a breakdown on camera and her brother keeps saying “I failed to portect her. I failed. I failed…”

I mean, why do they show us this stuff? I walked out of there feeling worse than I did going in. If I hadn’t been sitting with my friends and talking to them off and on, I’d be like a walking funeral service. Well, maybe not that bad. But I heard a kid actually cried.

There was this part about a drunk driver, and how they made him walk around with a sing that said “I killed two people while driving drunk”. And he had to tape the victims’ pictures to the back of his “offender” card and carry it around for ten years. I mean, that’s just plain cruel. It was obvious he felt bad, so they made him face his crime every day for ten years. He had to see the autopsies of the dead people too. Very depressing.

They even made little kids, like, kindergarteners, stand in front of the camera and say things like “When I grow up I want to be a drug dealer”. What did those kids think about saying that? I wonder if some of ‘em were actually influenced. And the catchphrase was “Sometimes people are not who they used to be”. Which still is no reason to make little children say they wanted to get drunk or backstab their friends.

I hate these presentations. I really do. Nothing can put a nice little raincloud above your head like those school “awareness programs”. Well, I’m aware now. I’m aware that I never want to see one of those things again.

Top Ten Things That Annoy Me

…Here we go, in no particular order:

1) Old black and white movies… I just can’t stand ‘em.

2) Fur coats… don’t even get me started with the whole ‘cruelty to animals’ lecture.

3) Hitler’s moustache… have you ever seen it? I mean, the thing looks like a dead caterpillar. By the way, I thought of something a while ago. “I was trying to swastika that fly but I got nazi-ated and I Hitler my dictator” Hahahaha! Stupid nazis.

4) The word “pet peeve” …What IS a peeve, anyway?!

5) Pre-ripped jeans… Who came up with them, and why would you pay money for something that’s already ripped?

6) Writer’s Block!

7) People who dress their pets…  and I mean every day.  Halloween or special occasions are cute, but a daily outfit looks so wrong, and plus it’s just plain stupid. I think East-Of-Eden here from fictionpress.com has illustrated my point very well… see her poem here –> http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2510173/1/

8.) Snobby people

9) Historical fiction… it’s history, it’s over, why write about it?

10) Math

…I apologize to anyone who may have been offended by this. Except fur-wearers, nazis, and snobs.